Greater is He!

It has been quite some time since I have updated my blog.  My deepest apologies to my ever-so faithful readers.  I'm so sorry for leaving you on the edge of your seats, anxiously awaiting my rambling thoughts.

In all seriousness, you know things are getting heavy, when I blog.  With all the demands of school, church, and family, I rarely have time to blog as much as I want to.  But there are times when I just have to carve out some time so that I can peck away at this keyboard and get my thoughts out of my head.  For instance, as we speak, the dryer is open waiting for me to return to it and continue folding the clothes.  I quickly threw the ingredients for dinner in the crockpot. There are 4 text messages that I've ignored. I have a case study to finish up, a lesson plan to write,  2 projects to complete, and a Master Club Bible lesson to write.  But, that is all going to have to wait because I have to get these nagging thoughts out of my head.

You see, I know I don't have many readers on my blog.  Maybe my mom and sometimes Matt read this and both of them have already heard this rant.  So, this is really for my own benefit. So here goes.

My child, my intellectually disabled child.  My beautiful, blond-ish, brown-eyed girl. She is growing up on me.  Why?! Why?! I miss the days when she would snuggle up in bed with me and watch Full House for hours on end while sucking her thumb.  Yes, that thumb.  The thumb about which I dedicated a whole blog post to, trying to figure out how to get her to stop sucking it.  I miss that.  I mean, I'm glad she doesn't still do that but, I miss that phase.  That problem was so easy.  It was nothing compared to the issues we've faced recently.

(And let me just stop and clarify something else. The issues we face with Gracie are teeny tiny compared to those that other Special Needs families face.  I realize that and know how blessed we are.)

Recently, we've experienced some of the dreaded milestones.  For instance, Gracie is ending her last year in elementary.  We have dreaded that for a very long time.  To her, the thought of going to junior high is exciting.  But to us, it is scary.  It's scary in so many different ways, too.  For instance, she is going to a school where we don't know anyone.  We haven't entrusted our daughter with strangers since she was 3.  But, alas, I am reminded that the Lord took extra special care of her then and left her with the most caring teacher possible.  Our beloved, Mrs. Morton - our forever family friend.  So, I know the Lord will care for her in this school, too. Another way it is scary is that we don't know anything about the program at this school and we are finding it difficult getting answers.  What little answers we've been given, have not been pleasing to us.  We fear we will have to advocate for Gracie in a way we've never had to before.  That's scary.

We've also been preparing for Gracie's future aside from education.  That has been a very eye-opening experience.  It is very hard to think about the future.  Every parent's wishes for their child is to see them leave the nest and be successful in this world.  The Special Needs parent's tend to want to keep their baby birds in the nest for as long as possible.  We tend to talk out of both sides of our mouth. We want them to be brave and face challenges and dream big, but we're really too scared to let them dream too big.  But we must remember 1 John 4:4

"Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." 

GREATER IS HE! He is greater than ME! He is better equipped to protect my child than I am. He is greater than me. I need to remember that on the first day of junior high.  I need to remember that during my next ARD meeting.  I need to remember that as I walk with Gracie through all of these scary new phases of life.

She's growing up on me. I think I'm beginning to see that the teens are upon us.  They are inevitable.  I thought I had a deal with God that He would return before I had to raise any teens.  Being that we are only months away, I'm beginning to realize that He may not have agreed to my terms.

So, here I go - off to teenager land.  Pray for me. Greater is He!

Thanks for listening to the rant.

Halloween

Happy November! I'm so happy it's here! I love fall and I love the holidays  

We survived a long week of fun Red Ribbon Week coupled with Weird Haur night at Master Clubs! Then we ended the week with a fabulous time at the church Fall Festival. I mean, it was fantastic! The kids had so much fun and came home with boat-loads of candy.
 

 

 

 

(Sneaking some candy!)

 

Zade dressed up as a Deer Hunter and Gracie dressed up as a cat. I wanted her to be a deer but she wasn't having it. But, I have next year's costumes already figured out! Now I just have to remember that idea for a whole year! 

Poor Bucky didn't get any candy. Look at that pitiful face! (He's so cute I could eat him up!)

 

I think I have finally got through with this annoying cold that has given me fits for the lot 3 weeks! I'm ready for a break between semesters. This year I took on 16 hours but that started to become too much to handle along with the rest of my life. Stress started to get the better of me so I dropped one of my classes. That alone took a huge load off my shoulders. 

My mom is starting to feel better. She is not 100% but now we know why. She has been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease that has attacked her muscular system. It has caused her difficulty in swallowing, aches and weakness in her muscles and fatigue. She has a really good doctor and he has a good treatment. Unfortunately, there is no cure, but her symptoms can improve. Thank you for praying for her. 

Tomorrow Gracie will participate in her big Special Olympics bowling competition. Wish her luck! 

Until next time! 

Established 1998......

Last weekend, Matt and I celebrated our 17th anniversary.  It's hard to believe that we have been married that long.  Sometimes, I honestly do not feel like it has been that long.  But there are other times that I feel like, yeah, it has been that long.  Ha! For instance, when he looks at me and says something completely rude or inappropriate simply to get a rise out of me and I look back and roll my eyes.  Those are the times I know it's been a long time. Because newly married Myra(and sometimes tired and cranky Myra) would've gotten all up in a tizzy over it. 

To celebrate, we took the kiddos to the Grand folks and got ourselves a room at the Gaylord Texan.  It was so nice and relaxing. 

Does anyone else like to take the little sample soaps and lotions home to use on future trips? Tell me I'm not alone in this.

Matt spoiled me with more jewelry that I do not deserve. (I tend to lose diamonds and watches)

 

 

Then I may have talked him into a trip to the mall to visit my good buddy Michael Kors. 

It was a nice relaxing weekend and great to get to spend time together.  We should've known it was the calm before the storm.  The week that has followed has been a pretty trying and busy week.  On Monday morning, I woke up sick but toughed it out to go to school.  After that, my mom was put in the hospital for some strange symptoms.  She spent most of the week there but it home now and starting to improve.  Please keep her in your prayers.  

Here's to hoping for a more calm and peaceful week next week but with Mid Terms, Red Ribbon Week at the kids' school, and Halloween - I doubt it.
Laters - MDD

I am Associated!

My diploma for my Associates degree came in today.  It seems like that was forever ago when I finished up my degree plan at TCC.  For whatever reason, it took 5 months to get it in.  But, I'm kind of glad it did.  It was a reminder of how hard I have worked and a reminder of what my ultimate goal is.  People ask me often how much longer I have until I finish and it kind of makes me chuckle. I know it has taken a looooong time and I still have a looooong time to go.  But, I'm not going to worry about that. As long as I get it done, right!?!

Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.

 

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the Texas Longhorns for making sure that my weekend was not ruined.  You know what they say, Happy Hubby, Happy Wife!
Now we can focus on what really matters, the Rangers!

The Rock

   You know when you go hiking in the mountains, and you can't really tell where you're going.  But then you come to a rock that is higher than all the trees.  So, you climb on it and look around, and suddenly you can see where you came from, where you are, and where you're headed.  
  God is our Rock that is so high that He can see exactly where we have been.  He's seen the troubles we endured on our "hike" thus far.  He was right there with us. 
   He can also see where we are at this exact moment.  He knows all about what we're going through right this very moment.  He is right there with us. 
   More importantly, He knows where we're going.  He knows the right path we need to take to get to the right destination.  He knows the wrong way to our destination as well.  And He knows which one we will take. 
  So, when we're feeling lost with too many irons in the fire, too many people relying on us, too many things on the to-do list, too many tough decisions to make..... we need only go to the One who is higher than us and knows exactly which way to go. 

Thank you and I'm sorry!

I just read a blog about the five words every parent wants to hear, Thank you and I'm sorry. I got to thinking about my mom. I bet she wants to hear those words, too. So this is a post to my sister to remind her to thank mom and apologize to her for all the trouble she put her through! My sister caused my mom so much trouble. She put my mom through holy terror. Mom, you deserve to hear those words from Crystal.
Haha! I'm just kidding.
But really, we were both kind of bratty. Maybe Crystal more than me but I did some contributing. :)
(This post started out being a sweet gesture to my mom but has turned out to be a dig at my sister!)

In all seriousness, I don't normally get to be with my mom on Mother's Day and so I thought this little post might be a way to make her feel special on Mother's Day. So here's my list of "Thank you and I'm sorry".

Thank you and I'm sorry for making you feel guilty for not "understanding what it's like to be the little sister". I mean, you didn't but you tried to and I might have been being a tad dramatic.

Thank you and I'm sorry for all the refereeing you had to do between me and Crystal. I understand now what a pain in the rear that is. (For the record, she started it)

Thank you and I'm sorry for refusing to eat the red beans and cornbread you planned and cooked. I still don't like them but I realize now how difficult that is to stretch pennies and plan what you think is a good meal only to be told it's nasty.

Thank you and I'm sorry for always squirming and fussing when you did my hair and then that time I cried wolf one too many times and threw up and fainted on you after you had to spank me for squirming and fussing. As Gracie would say, "Sorry 'bout that!"

Thank you and I'm sorry for being such a sarcastic teenager. Or as you called me a "smart Alec" and sometimes not so nice words. But Mom, look how hilarious I am now. You don't get that way being a sweet little girl. But sorry anyways.

Thank you and I'm sorry for all of the car accidents, speeding tickets, car repair headaches, insurance hikes and I'm sure high blood pressure. I don't know what was wrong with me. But I'm a better driver now. I just don't turn left unprotected.

I'm sure this list could go on and on and on. And Crystal's list-wow- it would go on for miles! Lol!

Mom, Happy Mother's Day. Enjoy your day tomorrow knowing you raised some pretty awesome girls who are now completely nutty moms themselves.

Love,
Your favorite daughter :)

To All My Friends Who are Parenting Special Needs Kids

Yesterday was a rough day for me.  Which as a special needs parent, that isn't too uncommon.  But I went to bed with a million different emotions running through my head.  All I could do was pray and beg God to grant me enough peace to help me sleep.  So many questions ran through my head. After waking up this morning and spending time reading God's Word and praying, I felt compelled to send a little note to all my friends who are in the same boat as I.  You may not be going through a rough time with your child right now, but I'd venture to guess you have not too long ago and you will not too far from now.  So if and when you do, I hope you read this and it brings you comfort.

1. You're a great mom. You're probably questioning that right now.  But don't.  God couldn't have picked a better person to raise that baby of yours.

2. Your frustrations are normal. I know it's hard to not be emotional.  Our rational brains know that the way our child is acting out is not on purpose but, our irrational side can't help but be frustrated by it.  You've been patient for so long and all of the sudden, it's compiled to the point it's oozing out.  You're not a bad person for your feelings.

3. You deserve a break. You deserve to let someone else deal with your sweet baby while you do simply nothing or something.  Whatever it is, you deserve it.  You put up with meltdowns, gross bodily fluids, heavy lifting, emotional worries, and sometimes physical abuse from your sweet baby.  You. Deserve. A. Break. 

4.Your needs are important, too. You deserve a warm meal, a hot shower, clean clothes, a hair cut, even a manicure and pedicure.  Don't forget to take care of you.  As busy moms, we need to take good care of ourselves.  Feed ourselves healthy meals and exercise so that we can be healthy and strong enough to take care of our special babies. 

5. Your Special Baby appreciates everything you do. They may not act like it or be able to express that but they do.  You can see it in their eyes.  Sometimes we forget to look for it.  Sometimes we are so focused on the rough patch that we're going through that we don't notice it, but it is there.  You know this because when they are hurting, they want you.  When they are sad, they want you.  The fact that they trust you with those emotions tell us that they appreciate us.

6. I'm praying for you.  No one knows the struggles of  moms like you, as well as other moms with special babies.  When you feel all alone in the world you dwell in daily, know that I'm praying for you.  I'm praying that God shows you His love and brings something or someone into your day that will help you through it.  Don't forget how much He loves you.  Don't forget that He knows more than anyone the struggles of a parent.

Hugs to all you Rock Star Mamas!