As I write this, I am sitting in a waiting room while Gracie is having a psychological evaluation done. Matt & I are trying to do what we can to get to the bottom of Gracie's disabilities. We're seeking to have them better defined so that we know exactly how to help her. This is probably something that we should have done long ago but it's pretty costly.
However, in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter why she is the way she is. I read a passage in the Bible at church 2 Sundays in a row and both times I felt The Lord nudging at my heart about it. The passage is found in John 9:1-3.
And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
There have been many, many times in this journey with Gracie that I have thought I need an answer to why she struggles so. I've also found myself telling Matt that if I had it to do all over again I'd do things differently with her from birth. (Natural birth, vaccinations, breast feed, etc) He gets so mad at me. He always tells me not to think like that because that's putting the blame or even power on me. As I was reading this passage in church, those conversations replayed in my head. I finally understood what he was trying to tell me.
No one did anything wrong to make Gracie the way she is. She is who she is so that God can receive the glory for all that she accomplishes in life. If you continue reading through John 9 you'll see that Jesus healed this man of his blindness. He went around spreading this news to many people. Even better, the man wasn't just healed of his blindness, he trusted in The Lord as his Savior.
I don't know if Gracie will ever develop enough to live a life independent of Matt and I. I pray for that every day. But if she does not, I will not count that as a loss. Because every day spent with her is a reminder that God will be made manifest! Every little goal she accomplishes is a win for God. Every new word she says-win! Every task she learns-win! (FYI, she figured out how to snap her pants this week!) The story isn't over for this little girl.
When I was pregnant with each of my kids, I had a verse in mind for them that kind of goes a long with their name. I never knew how relative those verses would become to their lives. Gracie's is 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.
The last part is the best because when we're weak, we have to rely on someone else's strength. Who better to rely on than God?! So stay tuned. God is using Gracie to show is His power!
PS. I also think He uses Gracie to teach me patience but that's a whole other blog post! :)
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing this, Myra. So encouraging. Though your trials are unique to you, your mother's heart is crying out a common tune. So wonderful that God knew that would be there and wrote His own verses for our duet of parenthood with Him. Your post reminds me that I am merely the earthly hands and feet - the willing vessel. And while I am accountable to God for our children, I am not ultimately "Responsible" in the bigger picture. He was, is, and will continue to be the lead singer. There is freedom in that knowledge.
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