Just another day in paradise.....

We went to a Wild West Show in the Stockyards for Labor Day
Zade, of course, was scared of them!

Then we watched them herd the cattle! That was fun !

Gracie at her dentist appointment! She did so good this time compared to the last few times!

And this is what we're doing today! He's so handsome when he cleans!

Batman having an afternoon snack of chocolate pudding! Yum!

Kindergarten is a lot of work and deserves a yummy treat!

Staying home with mommy has its privileges!

Well, life has certainly been interesting the last few weeks. Week 2 of Kindergarten didn't go so well. I think my baby girl was still feeling a little lost in her new atmosphere and wasn't taking to it too well and so ensued a few melt downs at school. She also began acting out in other ways that I could never divulge to anyone, just for the simple fact that Gracie deserves a little privacy. But with Matt now being him most evenings, we were together able to hone in on the situation and get it under control as well as her behavior at school. So now, things seem to be going a little better.

However, in addition to all of this she's shown a different side to herself. Last week, she got a toy stuck in her nose and we had to go to the Urgent Care to have it removed. It was a tiny Tinker Bell shoe that she had put in there. Why? Who knows!! It's Gracie, she insist on keeping life interesting.

Then this week she got to use the scissors. I've always been able to trust her with them. But - not anymore! She took a little chunk out of her hair as well as giving her doll a little hair cut, too. It isn't near as bad as it could have been so I was feeling pretty lucky about that.
Now this one takes the cake - We were at a church softball game and the Hurst Athletic Complex where apparently people can bring in beers and just leave them sitting on the tables right by the playground!!!! So we think Curious Gracie took a sip of one! My neice saw her with it to her mouth but didn't see if she drank it or not. Hopefully, she didn't but that was a disaster!!!! I'm able to laugh about it now but at the time I was upset.

So that's all the interesting things going on with Gracie Mae. Everything else is going pretty good. I am taking Intro to Psychology (boring and stupid) and English Comp II which is interesting but both classes are really time consuming. And so are my kids so, there ya go! Time consumed!

I'm enjoying preschool this year. Courtney and I have a great class this year and are having a lot of fun with them!

Kids Club is off to a great start this year too!

Matt is now a Motor Officer which he has really wanted for a long time. It isn't official until the beginning of next year since he has to wait for a guy to retire. We are praying really hard that the Captain will change his mind about this so that Matt can be home every night to help with the kids (Gracie) more. In the mean time, he is on days Mondays and Tuesdays which is great! It will be nice when his shift will be Monday through Friday and on days - like all the other regular people out there!

Not much to report on Zade! He's a good boy and hangs out with Mama all day when he's not at school or Mamaw's house.

Well, I have some chilli on the stove that I can't stand to smell any longer and am dying to eat!

Oh, pray for Gracie - she's having some dental work done on Monday - they will be putting her under in order to do this.

Have a great weekend!

And School has begun......FINALLY!!!!

Gracie outside of her Kindergarten class at Meet The Teacher night!

Breakfast as a Kindergartner! Ready for school!
Gracie had a great first day at Kindergarten! She came home and played "class" with Zade and her Barbies! She has since begun having a rough time, therefore, her and her teacher's need your prayers!

And Zade is quite as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the mornings as Gracie!

Froot-Loops do help a little, though!

Now he's got his clothes on and feeling a bit sassy!

Ready to be a Lion!

All ready!

Summer Vacation in Red River, NM!

Fun at the Sand Dunes!
We had the bluest skies that day!


An old abandoned cabin in the mountains!

At the top of the mountain....

after a long, and sorta scary Jeep ride

At the playground! Their fav place the whole trip, the one just like they have in their backyard!

RRrrrroooooaaaaarrrr!!!!

We took a fun trip to Red River, New Mexico! We had a blast! Here are the pics. I'm not writing much because I'm minus a thumb and this is weird! So, enjoy the pics! (Less than 2 weeks until school starts!)

Tuesday Ponderings

These pictures always post out of order! UGh!

This is Zade's first bottle! 3 days old!
We've finally gotten to hold him at 2 days old

A happy Mama!

I came back from the OR empty handed. I was sad.




This was right after he was born.

Today, is Tuesday, July 13, 2010.....2 days before my baby boy turns 3! That's amazing to me. You see, July 15, 2007 it was a Sunday morning. My alarm went off at 7am like it normally does and I got up to take my shower and begin getting dressed for church but I realized something wasn't right. I had an eery feeling my water had broke. I woke Matt up and told him and we called the doctor since I was a month from my due date. We didn't want to call any family in case it was a false alarm but I packed my bag just in case. We got Gracie dressed and off we went to the hospital. By about 10:45a they had determined that my water had broken and I was dialated to about 2 cm so they began to prepare me for a c-section. We were frantically trying to get a hold of family. Matt's parents were on vacation in Montana or somewhere far away (against my warnings, I like to add!) Everyone else was at their church without their cell phones except my brother in law who was able to tell my parents and they all rushed up there. Eventually, people got there before they took me back to the OR and were able to stay with Gracie so that Matt could be present! The C-section went off without a hitch. At 12:21p Zade Gail Darter was born! But he wasn't responding like he should. His weight was great for an 36 weeks gestation ( 6lbs. 14oz) but he was crying so hard he wasn't breathing properly. It turns out this one of his lungs was a little under-developed and they took him to the NICU immediately. After they finished me up, before taking me to my room they wheeled my huge bed into the NICU to see him. He was so pitiful looking. He had a central line in his belly button so we couldn't hold him, otherwise the line would move, puncture a vein and cause him to bleed out. He had a tubes through his nose for oxygen, IVs running on his arms and contraptions hooked to him in all sorts of places. I was devestated. I remember being completely numb - I literally had no feelings about it at all. By the time I went back to my room my family was there and my baby girl Gracie, and we really didn't know when Zade would come out of the NICU - we were still waiting on the NICU doctor to come tell us what was actually going on. When he finally did he told me that Zade would probably be in the NICU for 7 to 10 days and that I would probably be discharged long before Zade would be. That hurt. There was no way I was going home without my baby. I already decided I would send Matt home with Gracie and I'd stay. The very thought of just being in a Post-Delivery room at the hospital and having no baby in my arms was already hurtful.

By Monday morning I was able to get out of bed and boy did I! I wanted to go see my baby! I remember being wobbly legged and fragile after my first C-section - but this time I hopped out of bed and bent over to get my socks on, too! The nurse who was wheeling me down to the NICU was impressed! I still wasn't able to hold Zade nor feed him. His breathing wasn't slow enough to even be fed from a bottle so they were feeding him through a tube. I had lots of visitors come by and see me and I loved it! In fact, I hated being alone. When I was alone I had time to think and I didn't want to think because I would think about my fears. Fears of losing my baby. Later Monday afternoon, I got an awful headache caused by my spinal block and had to have an epidural of blood placed in my spine and that forced me to lay flat on my back for several hours. I was so upset because they didn't give me a chance to go see Zade before they did this so Matt went down and took video of him for me. I would love to share it with you but I can't seem to get it to work....grrr. Take my word for it, it's the sweetest ever!

On Tuesday, I was allowed to carefully hold him. I couldn't believe that finally 2 days after he was born I was able to hold him. I have to admit, I was scared, too! But I finally got over that fear and the mommy instinct took over. He was so sweet.

On Wednesday, I got to feed him a bottle for the first time! Each day, my OB doctor would come in and ask me if I wanted to stay since the baby was still here and I would say, "Yes, please!" So he would arrange it.

But, Thursday morning the nurse came in to warn me, that they would be sending me home that day. I wasn't happy about leaving my baby so, I marched myself down to that NICU and refused to move from the wheelchair until Matt came to pick up my stuff. Well, as luck would have it, the NICU nurse told us they were ready to release Zade on Friday and would allow us to stay in the family room with him that night. She told us to go eat some dinner, pick up some snacks, and come back and they would have him ready to spend the night with us in the family room. So we did! We brought family with us, too! Gracie got to see Zade for the first time. She liked him, too.

Our sleepover went smoothly so we were allowed to take Zade home on Friday afternoon! I can't tell you the sigh of relief we both sighed. On the way home, we both admitted, finally, just how scared we were and just how hard we had been praying for our baby.

Needless to say, our Zade is perfectly fine, now, and has never had any difficulties since - except maybe difficulties keeping his mouth shut! Ha!

It's interesting to me as to how my kid's personalities were revealed even before they were born. Gracie was super uneventful in the womb - she never turned and had to be removed from my tummy! And as she's grown she's taken her sweet, precious time doing anything, whether it be developmentally or things like cleaning her room! Zade on the other hand, came a month early left the NICU 3 days sooner than we were told he would, and has done anything and everything he's wanted to as soon as he wants to ever since. He is a great kid! Where I find myself stressed out about things Zade can bring the giggles out of me. For instance, I was trying to get him to hurry and go potty before bed and he kept goofing off so I gave him on of those loving thumps on his sweet little head and his reply to me was, "Girl, you better watch it!" and I lost it. I made the mistake of laughing and he knew he had me so I really didn't get a chance to correct him so - if you're ever wondering why my son's a brat - that would be why.

I'm so happy that God gave us Zade. He really is a great kid, he's easy going and comical. He worships the ground his Daddy walks on and that makes me love him even more. In fact, when I tell Zade that I love him he'll usually say, " I not love you. I love Daddy." This doesn't break my heart like I make out like it does, because I know he does love me.

I'm so thankful that I serve a Lord who has complete control of the situation and answered my prayers that week 3 years. I know there are people out there that have gone through things with their children that are far more tragic this that we have. It makes me realize what a blessing I have in these 2 kids. I know God has a plan for each of my kids and that plan involves me as their mommy. That's a big job, that I can't do alone. I have to put my trust in Him, to guide me each day, to guide them down the path He wants each of them to go down.

My prayers go out to those who are dealing with ill children or for those who have lost a child in one way or another. I know how much my kiddos mean to me - so I can not imagine the struggle and hurt these parents go through.

If you're looking for an uplifting, yet heart-wrenching blog to read go to www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com It is the story of a member of the group Selah. I've included some of their songs on my playlist. They rock.

Well, I've rambled on enough. Thanks for letting me gush over my baby boy!

Just Hangin' Out!

Happy Summer everyone! We are just hangin' out around town to keep busy! That is the theme of this summer - keep busy! We've finally gotten into a groove and neither of the kids have mentioned school unless we pass it! However, they have been spoiled rotten. They think we have to go somewhere everyday. We have been taking advantage of all the free or close to free things that there are to do around town. Here are some pics of some of the stuff we did this week!

In front of the Police and Firefighter Memorial in Fort Worth
Matt and Zade in the Water Garden.

We had to have some ice cream before playing at the mall.

Our spoiled dog, Big, is an indoor dog again.

Thanks to the Masseys we have lots of entertainment in our backyard now!!!!

Leapster learnin'!

He's still workin'.....

Zade likes to lick the spoon and bowl when we make brownies! He's just like his Mama!
Isn't she just Fabulous, Dahling!!!!


Handsome and Honary all in one.


She looooves her brother, can ya tell!?!




My preschool graduate! Tear.

Zade with his Caterpillar teachers, Mrs. Jennifer and Mrs. Carie

Gracie with her Zebra teachers, Mrs. Andrea and Mrs. Stephanie

Matt playing with the kids during Field Day at Bluebonnet Elementary! He's such a good Daddy!

All the kids got smart and just plopped themselves down in the pool!

A few weeks ago I was given a CD with different songs on them that I could use for various slide shows I've been working on. At the time, things were so busy that I didn't get a chance to listen to it until one day in the car. This particular day was not going so good. I was, as usual, having trouble getting Gracie to listen to me and was just feeling frustrated. So we were on our way to get this Mama her much needed Diet Coke fix from Sonic when a song came on that I haven't heard in YEARS!! It was "He's Still Workin' On Me". And suddenly I burst into tears. All I could think was, " I've just been slapped in the face by God Himself" He was saying, "Would you be patient?!" The minute that song came on all I could think was how amazing of a child Gracie already is and how far she has progressed in her speech and development. Why can't I be patient with the rate at which she develops?! It's so hard as a Mama to balance my desires for my kiddos with my faith and trust in the Lord. So many times I see things in Gracie's eyes that no one else sees. I feel like I can understand the things she isn't able to say. Then there are times where I feel like I'm not at all in tune with her.

That being said, I'm seeing a new look in her eyes and my heart breaks when I see it. Gracie is starting to really enjoy socializing. She'll see a child her size at the store and just randomly say "Hi". I think that is so sweet. I can tell she so desires to have friends. The only problem is that she's still limited in her speech. It's to the point that kids her age can't understand her completely and she doesn't completely understand them. Because of that the other kids give up and move on to someone else. There are certain children she gets so excited to see and they just aren't that excited to see her. So when she doesn't get a reaction to a greeting she's given them or something she's said to them she gets this look of disappointment in her eyes. IT KILLS ME! That's why she plays by herself a lot or instead of playing will hang with me. People think it is because that's just what she's content to do but in reality it's just her way of coping - it isn't her preference at all. It's so sad to see that kind of thing in my child. I pray for her all the time that God will continue to work on her and bridge that gap so that she'll be able to socialize a little better someday real soon. It's a good lesson to remember - that children no matter what their limitations are have feelings and those feelings get hurt. This is just something that has weighed heavy on my heart today I needed to get it off my chest.

We're off to a pretty good summer. We're not doing too much exciting except making sure we're doing a little "school" everyday. That has been tough but is getting better by the day. My kitchen looks like a preschool! (It's kinda fun!) Here's some pics of end of the year activities we had going on! Have a great weekend, y'all! Let's hear it for the summer!

These are a few of my favorite things.....

In the tractor we made for Zade for Drive-In movie at preschool!

Gracie lookin' distinguished in some fashionable glasses!

Serious gamin' at Putt-Putt!

See?! All snuggled up in Mama's bed!

Don't judge me! This pic is just too cute to not post! It's just his hiney, so get over it!

(This was while we were camping. He had to pee!)

My boy made longhorns with his suction ammo!

Then he put it in his nose!

about my kiddos!

It's been a rough week in the 'hood this week - the Mommyhood, that is. Gracie is going through a phase she goes through ever so often where she likes to battle it out about EVERYTHING she is asked to do. It has spilled over into school as well. So it's been a little tough finding joy in being the Mommy here lately but I have some awesome friends that are always willing to listen to me and make me gigle ALOT, and about the most inappropriate things, too. (You know who you are!) But I thought since I've had a hard time finding joy in life I thought I'd make a list of all the things I love about my kids. So be prepared to be completely annoyed by this mom bragging on her rotten kids!

1. I love it when my kids get excited when I tell them I'm going to church as if I just said we're going to Chuck E Cheese!

2. I love it that Zade knows no stranger. That boy will talk to anyone - and that's a big deal for me because my life motto has always been "Stranger - Danger"! Ask my sister!

3. I love it that my kids like to play outside. In fact, they usually aren't happy when they are indoors.

4. I loved it when I gave Gracie some cake after eating her dinner and her response was "Yum! Rock 'n Roll!"

5. I love letting the kids say the prayer for dinner and listening to all the random things they pray for like that "Papaw and Grandad will fix the tractor" or Gracie's "Thank you my God. Amen!" So sweet!

6. I love spending time with Gracie (when her body hasn't been taken over by some grumpy, stubborn monster) at night alone. She's a snuggler and will let me watch whatever I want to watch and is perfectly content as long as I keep on snuggling.

7. I love love love how well Gracie is speaking lately!

8. I love scaring Zade with the vacuum cleaner! (I'm giggling just thinking about it)

9. I love it that the kids like to watch old cartoons like Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, or The Flinstones.

10. I love that my kids love me even when I'm not the nicest mommy I can be.

Aren't I lucky? Thanks for listening. That was good therapy for this Mama!